Some of you who keep up with my social media probably already know that this week, I went on an adventure to the NE in hopes of getting a visa for Nepal. I mailed off my passport and visa application and went up to Washington, D.C. with one of my best friends and we waited around in case I got a call from the Embassy that they needed me or needed additional information that I could drop off, etc. And you know what? We really did make the most of that trip. God made it possible for us to see places we have never seen before and probably will never see again. And He kept those places empty enough that we didn't usually even have to worry about social distancing! He also created space for me to reconnect with dear (COVID-free) friends that I hadn't seen in a long time. It was so good for my soul!!
On Tuesday night, I received a notification that my passport and visa response were mailed back to my house, so we left Washington, D.C. on Wednesday morning in hopes that it would be waiting in my mailbox when I got back. (I pre-paid for priority, first-class shipping). There was no way to obtain an answer on my visa before then. Wednesday's drive was mostly filled with enneagram podcasts (learned I am a 2w3 in case you were curious) and life reflections and gratitude. Thursday, I was back to work and training my replacement. Still no passport. And then yesterday afternoon, it finally came.
I don't know if it was doubt or what....but for all of my hoping (I am a chronic hopeful), I kinda just knew it was going to be disappointing. I opened it and was informed they are not currently processing any visa applications. So on one hand, at least it wasn't rejected! On the other hand...it now leaves things more in limbo. (They will not receive any applications until the airport opens which is scheduled for September 1st. My flight is scheduled for September 2nd). I have reached out and am hoping and praying for an email back from them sometime this week to give me some direction.
It's really easy to fall into frustration, disappointment, and potentially even depression (which I have wrestled many times in the past). To question yourself. To question God. And I don't think anyone would think any less of me for those thoughts and emotions...but you know, as much as I wish it was effortless, I also see myself growing deeper in relationship and understanding with God.
At this point, it should be pretty obvious that it is my desire to be in Nepal. A desire I still firmly believe was placed there by Jesus. But even more than that, I desire to be with Jesus. To be in communion with Him, daily. And He is neither confined to America or to Nepal. He is WITH me. Always. Even if the world around me is raging with confusion and uncertainty, He is in the boat with me and He is sure.
I've been thinking a lot about several Bible characters....mostly Moses and Joshua. For Joshua, God gives a promise of overtaking a city and it seems impossible. He then commands them to march around the city for a week and to blow trumpets on the last day and the walls come down. And with Moses....over and over again, God does impossible things in the moments they are needed most. Parting a sea for an entire nation to walk through. Bringing food from the sky. Making water come from a rock. And sometimes, promises took 40 years to be fulfilled. I mean, Abraham's wife Sarah was 90 years old before God gave them Isaac, whom He promised to them when they were young.
I don't know how long I will have to wait before God fulfills the promise I believe He made to me. Maybe a few more weeks. Maybe much longer than I care to admit. I don't know. But what I DO know is that I will be ready. "In season and out of season," I will be ready to move. And in the meantime, I will be faithful with the day set before me, giving thanks for the people in front of me in each moment and enjoying time with Jesus- regardless of being in the wilderness or in the promised land. Or at least, I'm going to try!
Whatever your promises are....and especially if you don't see a way for them to be fulfilled, my prayer for you today is that you are encouraged that this world is not our home and God sees you, hears you, and cares about your concerns. We may not understand, and though that's frustrating, we don't always need to. Maybe the whole point of the journey is to simply know Him more deeply. In which case, how could it ever be wasted?
"Not one word of all the good promises that the Lord had made to the house of Israel had failed; all came to pass." ~Luke 21:45
Enjoy these photos in the slideshow below from our journey to the Northeast USA. :)